when in fact I feel more like this ~
and this ~
and this ~
Here's what.
Someone has recently moved here, into a position which wields a fair bit of power in the artistic life of our city. At first everything between us seemed hunky-dunky. But that has changed. Now I feel a strong wave of dislike rolling toward me from this person - I don't know why - and as a result am blocked from moving into areas that have always been open to me. It's perplexing and distressing.
What to do?
Well, first there's all the sulking and pouting to get out of the way. But once that's done, I'm going to need a plan.
Dare I broach the subject to this person, or will that just make things worse?
Pretty sure this would bring me into red-tights-territory.
Do I ask a wise and trusted friend, who's known me forever and moves in the same circles, for advice?
There's the oblique approach: get someone else to discreetly find out what the problem is and report back.
I could write a letter, apologizing for an unknown mistake, and perhaps listing my many fine qualities that may not yet be apparent. (Ha! Do you see what's happening here? The cathartic effect of writing is kicking in! I started this post all gloomy-grumpy-harrumphy and already some humour is beginning to seep through the 'poor me'. Thank you, tarot blog!)
What if I am a reminder of some other person, much disliked, a real red-flag-for-a-bull scenario?
If that's the case, there's not a damn thing I can do about it. On the one hand, this is a bit freeing, because it's not my fault. But on the other hand, I'm a victim of circumstance, and my hands are tied.
Or, as a friend suggested, just put up and shut up. Never an easy thing for me.
After mature deliberation, and a glass of wine, I've decided to go with 'put up and shut up'.
At least for now. Or until the clothespin on my mouth starts to hurt.